You are fancy-smart. I bet your brain is on a doily.

Good morning, readers!  Welcome to my first blog entry.  I'd like to dedicate this post to Cyrus Irani, my best friend's hubby & active long-term author of the blog "Notes from a Prudent Man," who not only suggested I start one of my own... but inspired me to do so with his own super-astute and funny writing.

I had my first class last night.  Asian-American Literary & Cultural Studies -- a graduate seminar in the American Studies Department, cross-listed as an English course because of its heavy literary content.  When I heard about the class, I jumped at it.  What better way to begin my graduate studies than with a course focused on the history, psychology, and analysis of Asian-American artists, including writers?  

Boy, oh, boy.  Evidently, I did not pay very close attention to the course number -- as this seminar is actually a Ph.D.-level course... filled with uber-smart doctoral students in the departments of Asian & American Studies, Art History, Women's Studies, & English Language and LIterature.  Zoinks!  We went around in a circle to introduce ourselves.  One by one, each student gave a brief introduction to their educational history and research interests. Truly, some of the most fascinating things I've ever heard!  I can already tell that my 11 classmates are going to be some of the brightest scholars and professors of my time.  Just to be clear, these students are eloquent & genuinely smart.  Not stuffy... and definitely not "I'm going to use big words to seem smart," smart.  I could tell this right off the bat. 

I wrapped up the introductions.  I was kind of feeling like an oddball as the only non-doctoral student, but I was so excited by all of their research, so I blurted out, "You guys are all so interesting!"  :)  Then I took my turn.

"Hi.  I'm Nania.  I'm a first-year MFA student in Creative Writing."   *Present toothy smile.*

Luckily for me, these students are not just smart, they are also very gracious.  People smiled back.  They seemed excited to have me there.  I continued. 

"I did my B.A. at Kalamazoo College in English & Creative Writing, then took a left-hand turn and completed my M.A. at GWU in Speech & Hearing Sciences.  I worked as a Speech Therapist in medical rehabilitation for 3 years, but really missed English & writing as a discipline.  That's why I'm here.  I chose to take this course because I'm interested in the contemporary multicultural conversation that takes place through creative writing.  I'm a fiction writer, and hope to learn about Asian artists & literature so that I can be a more informed "conversationalist," I guess.  I'm also interested in "trans-culturalism"... where people feel they are essentially caught in the middle of two different cultures -- and have experienced how alienating and difficult it is to live in the "in-between."  

I could tell my face was bright red, but I instantly felt better because everyone around the table was nodding and smiling.  My interests seemed really elementary compared to theirs, but I didn't feel badly about it.  And even though that basically summed up my contributions in our first three-hour discussion, I felt like an oddball for sure, but at least I felt welcome.  :) 

The professor, Sarita, has a very happy affect -- a really positive, laid-back, uber-smart scholar of American Studies, with privileges in the English Department.  She told us, "Don't get caught up in the grade.  You all have an A.  So there.  You all have an A, so now we can feel free to be openly stupid together."  

I think that's what I loved about this first class.  Everyone is really intelligent, but in a well-meaning, down-to-earth way. Sure, they are intimidating, but I don't think they mean to be.   I think they just want to learn.  And they want others to learn from them.  And I definitely did. I feel so lucky.  

When the discussion of our readings began, I could tell that I had read the texts in a really one-dimensional way.  -- This is what the author said.  This is what I think it might mean. --  These students were able to find and excavate ideas & analyses from the second, third, even fourth dimensions of the text.  People used words I did not understand.  At one point, I caught myself with my mouth hanging open:

I felt badly about this, as I usually find it very unappealing when others let their mouths fall ajar... and have commented on this openly.  Honestly, though... I think I was just trying to open up another portal to my brain.  I mean, there was SO much coming at me... and it definitely was not all making it "in."

After three hours, I reached maximum capacity.  My head started to hurt:

At one point, I think my brain was fizzing.  Luckily, class was over.  Sarita felt so badly about running a full three-hour class on our first day, she offered to take us to a seedy bar and buy us a drink.  Alcohol optional... but definitely an option.  I declined & apologized, as I had to zip out to try and catch the tail-end of a reading by one of my writing professors.  

I didn't make it to the reading.  But I think this was a good thing.  My brain had been through enough for one day. 

-NL