Vengeance!

I'm not sure if you recall my story from last week, where I was awoken from slumber by an uninvited, unwelcome, unsavory creature.  If you'd like to read my heroic tale... click here for my September 11 post or go to the right-hand column and refer to the post entitled, "I'm Trying Very Hard To Live By Myself These Days, If You Don't Mind." 

Anyway, for those who are aware of the situation, I very ominously (and presciently!) stated in that blog entry: "This is not over.  Just me against the moth."  

Just as I suspected, this story has come to an end.  It is my rare pleasure to declare.... 

VICTORY!!! YES!!! *Flexing arm muscles, kissing each bicep, baring my teeth, as a professional wrestler might.*

Okay, so the first thing you're going to say is, "Nania, I thought you said this moth was "as big as a bat."  Please note the following things in my defense: 1.) It was the crack of dawn when this bad boy woke me up.  I was not in the most judicious state of mind.  2.)  Fear and adrenaline may have resulted in a bit of exaggeration.  3.) As he freaked out inside this plastic cup, his actual wingspan is quite large.  I said 4.5 inches before... it's more like 2 inches.  But that's still a big moth.  And I do not rescind my observations about the mass of his body.  When this guy flies up on his hind legs... he's a porker.  

Secondly, you might ask, Indiana Jones Nania, how on earth did you catch this surly beast??  The short answer is: He came to me.  It was actually kind of sad.  It was noon.  I was sitting at my desk....(which is stationed in front of a big vaulted window), writing happily and checking my email every 5 minutes as I like to do.  Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye... I see a big brown spot, and it is slooowly sliding down the window.  I look up. It's the Moth.  I jump out of my seat and onto my feet.  (This time, I have pants on, so I feel much more capable of handling this confrontation.)  I went through the typical 60-second debate you usually go through when there is a bug on the window: "Is it on the inside or outside of this window?"  I look closely.  I see top of wings, not the "thorax and legs" undercarriage -- this moth is on the inside.  But the "slowly sliding down the window" part is what made me sad.  The moth looked tired.  Defeated.  Or maybe it was so obese because it's pregnant.  Whatever the case may be... this moth is definitely not as spirited as it was the other day.  *Cue violin music and feelings of sympathy.* 

While keeping one eye on the moth, I backed up slowly to my kitchen.  Then, I frantically began to search for something that could serve as a make-shift moth trap.  After considering a colander, a tea cup, and the huge box in which my toaster oven was once housed -- I decided, "These traps are all opaque. I need something transparent so I can actually see the moth.  Open cabinet.  Spot travel ice-coffee cup.  Clear, plastic, sturdy.  Nice!

I walk back over to the window.  Due to my lengthy moth-trap deliberation... the moth is, of course, gone.  But then I look down at the wheels of my filing cabinet.  There she is.  (Yes, in my mind, the moth has just made a trans-gendered leap from "he" to "she.")  I take a deep breath, walked slowly toward her, and bam!  Place coffee cup.  She flaps and flutters for about 3 seconds.... but then perches on the side of the cup and does that sliding thing again. She seems resigned to her fate.  *Cue violins*  

So although she very rudely woke me up last week while I was trying to catch some shut-eye in preparation for class... I figure, maybe she was like, "Nania!  School is starting and I can't contain my excitement!  Wake up!!"  Slap-slap-slap.  So I disposed of the moth in the most humane way I could... by using this classic maneuver: "Slide a piece of card-stock under the cup, squeal as you carry the moth-trap to the door, figure out how you will open the door since both of your hands are occupied, set the trap on your desk, open door, pick up trap, walk outside, say goodbye, and release."  

And I'm sorry about telling everyone that you're obese, Miss Moth.  When I'm having an "I Feel Fat" day, the last thing I would want is for some obnoxious blogger to take a picture of me and post it to the world-wide-web with the caption, "OH!  Guess who's looking a little porky today!!  NANIA!!!" 

-NL