Headline: Beautiful and Amazing Friend Marries a Prudent Man

This past July, I had the privilege of being the Maid of Honor in my very best friend Cindy's wedding. 

Because Cindy is such a big part of my life, I was going to do a blog about her.  But as I started to jot some notes on things I'd want to include, the blog entry started looking less like a testimony of our friendship, and more like an online dating profile.  (Name: Cindy, Height: 5'3, Hobbies: eating, laughing)  You get the idea. So instead, I decided to ask Cindy if it would be alright to post the Maid of Honor speech that I gave at her wedding.  Now, I know it's not polite to tell someone how much you toiled and suffered in order to prepare something for them (and I know Cindy is reading right now, so I'm basically telling her).... so all I'll say is that this one was a nail-biter.  The task of defining such a wonderful, life-changing friendship in approximately 5 minutes... quite daunting.  Along with that, I wanted to say something to Cyrus, her husband, because after years of disliking many of Cindy's past boyfriends, Cyrus was a perfect and much-welcome addition to her life.  And I wasn't sure I had ever expressed that to him.  During the three weeks preceeding the wedding, I edited this speech 8 times.  Two of those edits resulted in completely new speeches.  On the eve of the wedding, after practicing this speech over and over and over... I thought, "Well, there it is.  That's the speech my Cindy deserves."  

Good evening! About 14 years ago, Cindy and I shared a very traumatic experience.  In fact, when I think about it now, it takes me back to a really dark place.  The experience was... Driver's Ed.  It's actually a miracle Cindy and I are here today. This experience was especially traumatic for me, because although we were just learning and didn't know what the heck we were doing, the one thing Cindy was sure about, was that she wanted to drive FAST.  I, on the other hand, didn't take to Driver's Ed with the same enthusiasm Cindy did.  Now, I'm not trying to perpetuate any negative Asian stereotypes... especially not at this wedding... but I'll just say that every terrible thing you've heard about Asian drivers was 100% true about me.  I was panicky, slow, and had really remarkable on-the-spot decision making skills.

Now, there was one event from driver’s ed that really sticks with me. 

I was in the driver’s seat. Cindy was sitting behind me and I could see her little face in my rear view, ready for another low-speed fear-fest.  And basically what happened was I had pulled onto the freeway for the very first time.... and our really big, scary driving instructor started saying, "Merge!  Speed up and merge!" because we were coming up on a shoulder.  But, there was a garbage truck coming up on my right!  He was insistent that this merge was going to happen.  “Now! Now!” he yelled.  So I got really nervous, gripped the steering wheel, made this sound: eeeeeeeeh..... and then when I went to change lanes, I … I closed my eyes. 

Now I can't tell you exactly what happened next because my eyes were closed. But I know it was bad because after much commotion my teacher said this: 

"Damnit! How could you be so stupid?!" And then he pointed at me and said, "You…God! So stupid! How could you do that?" 

Granted, the guy was right.  I could've gotten us killed.  But were were kids and telling a kid that they’re stupid definitely has an effect.  It hurt my feelings. And I started to cry.  What I wanted to say was, "I'm not stupid. I’m a three-time spelling bee champion."  But instead, in true Nania form, I didn't say anything.  And then I looked back at Cindy to see if she was okay.  Cindy didn't look frightened or worried.  She looked pissed.  And kind of under her breath, but just loud enough so I could here her, she said, "She did it because she was scared.  Not stupid.  And I think we should try to make her feel better.  Not worse."  

And then she put her little hand on my shoulder.  We were 15. 

Now I'm not going to be cheesy and say that was the moment I knew Cindy was my best friend.  But it was the moment I knew I wanted to be just like her.  Because Cindy has always been a really tough person, and I'm pretty sure that she always stuck up for herself... but I am absolutely certain that she always stood up for me.

Cindy, you taught me about confidence.  About how to make decisions that felt right to me instead of in the eyes of other people.  You showed me that I was someone worth standing up for. And you taught me how to be brave when faced with challenges and tremendous loss. 

And in those moments when I just couldn’t get my act together and I couldn’t be strong… you were always right behind me.  And with you there, I’ve always felt like I could do anything.  Even drive.  You and I have lived in different cities for over 10 years now… but Cindy, I take you with me everywhere. And so today, it's my honor to stand behind you... to celebrate what a truly amazing person you are.  I couldn’t be more proud or happy for you on this day. 

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Cyrus.  Did you guys know that Cyrus writes a blog?  Well, I read it.  It's called Notes from a Prudent Man.  I'm just gonna give you some examples of what he’s written.  He recently reviewed the 10 films that were nominated for Best Picture at the Oscars. Here’s a quick snippet from his review of the movie Precious:

"Precious – This would be the story of the guy in “The Blind Side” if he was a girl and wasn’t good at football, but was just as big."

In a later entry, he suggests different Thank You Card messages for wedding presents, such as: “Dear Milo and Lindsey, Thank you so much for the food processor and the electric kettle!  We can’t wait to exchange them for store credit.”  

Here’s another one: “We’re sorry to hear you won’t be able to make it to our wedding.  Hopefully you’ll be able to come to one of our second weddings.”

But in that same blog, while writing about wedding preparation, Cyrus discusses Pablo Neruda’s Sonnet 17.  I won’t read it, but Neruda uses darkness repeatedly as an image to describe intimate love – and oftentimes people struggle to understand it.  In his “struggle” Cyrus says “To me it seems like Neruda is trying to say that he doesn't believe in the theatrical love that people are often conditioned to expect. But he believes in love, and believes it to be a deeper connection that goes to the core of a person and cannot be explained so lightly.”

Cyrus, I’ve always thought that the person who ended up with Cindy would have to be truly unique.  And you are.  Not only because you very eloquently examined Pablo Neruda’s definition of love in the very same blog where you posted a picture of your friend sleeping on the sidewalk after your bachelor party…. but you’re uniquely smart, warm, and good-natured, you’re the type of person who reaches out to outsiders and makes them feel included and comfortable.

And I think the most unique thing about you is that you genuinely seem to like every single person you meet.  It’s actually really annoying.  But as far as my complaints about Cyrus go, that’s all I got.  And of course, you make Cindy happy and that’s what’s most important.

So right now.... I’d like to ask all of you to raise your glasses – first in congratulations to the Iranis and the Park family.  And of course, to Cindy and Cyrus on this wonderful occasion!  Cheers!

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Love you, Cindy! - NL